You want my phone number? It’s useless. The best way to contact me is to fill a human skull with acorns and vigorously shake it into the night. I will hear you eventually.
"Losing your Virginity" will henceforth be called "your sexual debut."
Because you’re not fucking losing anything.
i actually had forgotten about him
thank you for this
I like an honest fight and a saucy little maid
What he’s basically saying is he likes to get…paid
The internet can bastardize it all it likes, Shrek was a great fuckin film.
So my cousin was in a gay pride parade and everything in her outfit and makeup was rainbow but she was wearing red contacts and while marching, a protester behind her yelled “You’re going straight to hell” and she turns around to face him with her fuCKING blood red eyes and she says “well duh, I got a kindom to run” and the protester nearly fucking passed out that is her legacy I want to be like her
Did anybody notice the sign that reads “Beware pickpockets”?
It is like pure gold <3
Fun fact: pickpockets used to put up signs like that in tourist areas, so that tourists would pat places on themselves where their valuables were kept, to check that they were still there. Then the pickpockets would know exactly where to retrieve them from.
I love learning
Only a sheet of ice protects you from falling 1000 feet down this Abyss
Photographer Aaron Huey, who is on assignment for National Geographic, recently shared a picture of a frighteningly deep hole on the Lower Ruth Glacier. The only thing stopping people from plummeting down the 1000 feet drop into the ground is a sheet of ice. One crack, though.
Staring down what could be a 1,000ft deep worm hole through the blue ice of the Lower #RuthGlacier. I was never afraid of the ones full of water, they’d just be cold, but some had no water and it was easy to imagine a long slide to an icy death. #yikes (on assignment for @natgeo in #DenaliNationalPark)
nothing annoys me more than people being like “LEARN TO TAKE A JOKE” when you find something offensive or disgusting like where am i learning to take this joke? to the fucking trash where it belongs?
This one is for Blake that fucking dickwad
yeah fuck you blake